I try to rationalise that the wording itself is not important to me and I can’t understand why would it be important to them, why won’t they just accept that some days with me are better without any confrontation?
That’s not how relationships work. It’s important to them. If they are important to you, then you put in the effort. If you can’t put in the effort on some days, maybe spend some time apart. The second part of that quote is also pretty problematic. If you are not respectful to them, telling them that they should not confront you about it is really toxic.
I’m autistic and depressed. I make similar mistakes. But I gotta ask myself the question: do I ask of my partner(s) things that I would myself not do? It seems that you are doing that. You’re asking them to ignore your behaviour, while you also ask of them to behave correctly towards you.
One of my favourite songs of all times