Kookaburras are what steal your sandwich.

It’s mild now but everyone needs to clean the ash off their cars.

laughs in 42 degrees C heat and wildfires

it’s because they’re communists.

The iphone keyboard is dogshit now.

It’s got white feathers like a seagull so you throw it chippies.

ICE are basically every scumbag anti-mutant militia the X-Men ever beat up, but without the matching uniforms.

Yeah, one, two, princes kneel before you

That’s what I said now

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

My boy cat switches between hiding under the bed and running around like a maniac throughout the day, but bedtime is snuggle time.

At work now we’re having team learning sessions that are just one person doing a change incredibly slowly using AI while everyone else watches, but at least I can keep doing my regular work if it’s a Teams call. It usually takes the AI about 45 minutes to decide what I immediately knew needed doing.

They all zip past me on their fancy road bikes, barely even pedalling.

Both of mine will allow belly rubs, but hate being picked up and will never sit on your lap. I wouldn’t have minded more of a mix of preferences.

My cat once hid in our neighbour’s bathroom for three days.

We need to go back to the safe ground of Americans complaining about the rubbish Supremor they voted in again by accident.

“Microsoft Windows App” confused the shit out of me earlier. I only realised it was Remote Desktop when I read the description, and I only did that because I was wondering what the fuck Microsoft Windows App is.

What devices?

I thought the iPad being just a giant iPhone was stupid and it wouldn’t catch on. Years on I use an iPad to read comic books in bed, though I guess tablets as a whole are kind of niche and not great as a productivity tool due to mobile OSs holding them back.

I always immediately think Jack Sparrow is Russell Brand and recoil, then remember who it actually is and then recoil again because it’s crook blokes all the way down.

Is it as humiliating as waking up in hospital on a drip?