I love how people still think this is some kind of gotcha.

MAGA will look a deported veteran in the eye and say they deserved it.

Everyone else who has any remaining trust in institutions is too busy surviving to care.

Far worse things have been confirmed about Trump and he’s still in charge between his narcolepsy.

Bloody apathetic planet, I’ve no sympathy at all.

I’m sure Schumer’s brow is extra furrowed today.

Glasses just dangling off the tip of his nose.

Already got one but mine is a cheap piece of crap that burns anything I cook low and slow.

And they don’t put the pulse width modulation on any of the labels so I can’t tell if a replacement will have the same problem.

I’d totally go induction if:

• They put the pulse width modulation on the label
• They weren’t crazy expensive
• I didn’t need to another couple grand to run a new 240V line to my kitchen

I guess corn does grow as high as an elephant’s eye

Imagine making microwave popcorn. Smh

Over the River and Through the Woods was originally a Thanksgiving song.

About a century later, White Christmas was about a Vermont ski resort that didn’t have snow until December.

Who cares what they campaign on? We know they’re gonna fold at the slightest resistance

I can totally see JD trying to Weekend-at-Bernie’s Trump

Dodge v. Ford says so

Get used to it. I’m in my mid 40s and the Democrats have been this my entire fucking life.

Cyber Monday is funny because it started with people buying things at work so it wouldn’t show up in their shared computers’ browser history, and now it’s like a whole made-up thing

If I’m forced to vote for this asshole I’m going to bitch the entire time.

Why? Because it’s bullshit and I’m allowed to.

Fuck the Democratic Party.

Using the constitution to run a nation of this size is like trying to run a modern data center with punch cards.

It needs to go because it’s not effective in curbing abuses, like this ruling shows.

Damn, guess I shouldn’t have been paying my taxes.

Guess that’s just the violence inherent in the system.

At what point can I stop pretending we have a functioning government?

And why Germany, which has low pork prices, has the McRib year round

I think the overlap is people who drive around a lot.

That’s why every conservative profile pic is them in a truck: They only had Rush to listen to for all of the 90s and most of the 00s

And he was on during the day. The real whack jobs were on at like 2am talking about literal aliens

Everyone is a senior engineer with an idiot intern now.