As a very real Republican, I’m perfectly fine with this. I can see how I must now pick my least not-favorite liberal in order to protect this democracy that I constantly claim to support. I believe laws apply equally.

I was gonna say that he probably mouths all the words while typing and with a lot of tongue action. Like a child trying to get their crayon starting just so.

I’d like to order a big Mac, but I’m scared. Calm me by playing every Beethoven concierto so that I can order food.

I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hoped that my jokes would land, but was worried that I wrecked 'em.

I appreciate that

I used it to write code in my latest release, and it totally tainted the database. I should have been more anal in my MR. At least we’re able to keep everything open and free. In other news, the foundation finally sacked up, and hired a new CEO; they’re from Blackstone, and we foresee some really big changes in our stream. In fact, now is as good a time as any to announce that we’re seeking pubic evaluation.

it would be cool to coolaborayr more

This coolaborayion could have been an email

“And these people would come up to me, very big people. Powerful. The generals. They’d come up to me… 'SIR! No one knew what to call this, but we can finally fight the fire with firefighters after you called it a fire. We tried for years, ever since the last president… Fake president, fake election. Totally rigged. They used to call it. They tried to call it a fire, but you saw how he looked, they couldn’t even- didn’t even try to call it a fire, a flame, nothing. They said it was amazing, I was the first president ever to call it a fire. Even before I was president, even when- do you think Crooked Hillary could have called it a fire? They didn’t have that in the emails. We have all of them. Every single email, we have them, and they deleted most of it. Unrecoverable, they said. You know what that means, ‘unrecoverable?’ It’s a term they use for computer- in the computer- everything is computer. It means ‘can.not.be.recovered.cannot.be.found,’ but we have all of them, they were right there. We couldn’t find them because of the cover-up, but they were right there. It was- it was amazing. They said it was truly incredible, they could finally fight the fire after, yours truly, the greatest president of all time, was the first one to ever call it fire. We’re getting- we’re getting rea- gonna do another executive order. Put it into an executive order to call the fire a fire.”

I guess we’re trying to revive gay panic?

I’ll allow it

Why’s everyone making such a big deal? It’s just a petit bourgeoisie!

- my dad when I was born

Hi

I lost all faith in the tree of liberty when it failed to finish the job with a famous Texas pissbaby

Yeah, fuck anyone trying to clean up their mess! THIS SPILLED MILK STAYS ON THE GROUND!

I probably need an /s, right?

I was today years old when I realized that the person in the picture isn’t Stephen Baldwin.

It ain’t me

Only in NYC or in the United States? Or globally celebrating internationally?

In New Brunswick, NJ, there’s a Hungarian Festival. It’s not a parade, but it shuts down the street whose historical significance is being the first street lit by Edison’s lamps.

I abandoned my boy!

Gotta spend money to make money.

I’ve got that first half covered…