An object is a poor man’s closure.

A closure is a poor man’s object.

These are two sides of the same coin, and both of them miss the point. You should be dealing with scale, and you should use a language that allows you to concisely describe how to compute large amounts of data easily. The best part is that once you start writing APL, you’ll feel like a wizard.

this could be better if it used subdomains to an evil extent - extract the main domain intended and use that:

google.com => google.phishy.pc-helper.xyz/whatever-bullshit-key-they-need

Bonus points if it works for any subdomain.

Extra bonus points for a subdomain that includes https and www (e.g. https.www.google.com.phishy.pc-helper.xyz)