Yeah, for many of us, the experience of women wanting sex is rare. All of those “I have a headache tonight” jokes didn’t just fall out of the sky. And, the expected retort to that example is, “obviously, you’re not very good at it, then,” which reinforces the idea that sex is a competitive event that a man has to develop his skills at in order to be allowed admission, rather than a collaborative activity for the enjoyment of both partners. Under that model, stuff which he enjoys and she doesn’t is “perverted,” and lots of us men end up thinking we’re some grotesque deviants for wanting.
which reinforces the idea that sex is a competitive event that a man has to develop his skills at in order to be allowed admission, rather than a collaborative activity for the enjoyment of both partners
This is a false dichotomy, because, based on the conversations I’ve been party to with my friend group (which includes a number of aggressively poly women), a lack of skill can and will make it harder to gain admission. Lack of skill can make it unenjoyable for the other party, which can absolutely gate your admission.
One of my casual partners in my friend group will semi-regularly reference a former short-term partner who was rather well endowed but didn’t know how to use the equipment he had. Lack of skill is what caused her to drop the partner, and I’ve heard similar conversations with other AFAB friends.
I’m sorry, you’re saying it’s a false dichotomy but then immediately just supporting their entire point. I don’t really know what you’re trying to say but it feels like trying to sweep under the rug the difficulties men have
For what it’s worth, I’d call that a failure of collaboration, rather than losing the competition, assuming she communicated what works for her in some reasonable manner. I mean, I’m assuming that they wouldn’t dump an unskilled man who’s open to improvement?
Yeah, for many of us, the experience of women wanting sex is rare. All of those “I have a headache tonight” jokes didn’t just fall out of the sky. And, the expected retort to that example is, “obviously, you’re not very good at it, then,” which reinforces the idea that sex is a competitive event that a man has to develop his skills at in order to be allowed admission, rather than a collaborative activity for the enjoyment of both partners. Under that model, stuff which he enjoys and she doesn’t is “perverted,” and lots of us men end up thinking we’re some grotesque deviants for wanting.
There’s a lot of women who cannot cum when their mentality isn’t perfectly aligned which means when they don’t feel themselves they don’t want sex.
For men sex is generally more stress relieving and affirming so when they are not feeling great they want it more.
Also women have “responsive desire” where unless they are approached and engaged they never even think about sex.
This creates a lot of marriage wreckage I’ve seen.
Also these “jokes” come from the long history of women having to marry for status/stability instead of being able to think about their own attraction.
This is a false dichotomy, because, based on the conversations I’ve been party to with my friend group (which includes a number of aggressively poly women), a lack of skill can and will make it harder to gain admission. Lack of skill can make it unenjoyable for the other party, which can absolutely gate your admission.
One of my casual partners in my friend group will semi-regularly reference a former short-term partner who was rather well endowed but didn’t know how to use the equipment he had. Lack of skill is what caused her to drop the partner, and I’ve heard similar conversations with other AFAB friends.
I’m sorry, you’re saying it’s a false dichotomy but then immediately just supporting their entire point. I don’t really know what you’re trying to say but it feels like trying to sweep under the rug the difficulties men have
For what it’s worth, I’d call that a failure of collaboration, rather than losing the competition, assuming she communicated what works for her in some reasonable manner. I mean, I’m assuming that they wouldn’t dump an unskilled man who’s open to improvement?
AFAB = All Friends Are Bi?
It’s too similar to ACAB for me to come up with anything else.
Assigned female at birth
Thanks!