Trying to figure out how to get out of being alive. I can’t see anything else in the coming decades but more isolation and misery. I’ve been trying to drink again and I still don’t get it. There’s no buzz or anything positive. It just magnifies my depression. Trying other substances too. I feel broken. Nothing’s happening. Waiting for the beginning of the workweek.

Pulled something in a finger so now the finger is sore. It’s raining and windy. But it’s not quite so windy now. Which is nice.

There was a derecho in like 2012 and took down a lot of trees. This was not that. But I’m more inland than a lot of nor’easters care about.

Mushrooms desiccated, no power lost, I’m so fucking tired. I took my vitamin whatever. I’ll now have energy but be tired.

RUDE.

(I saw the municipality name and figured the territory, but gave up on finding it.)

also I put effort into sharing just kind words again. I loved doing that. That created so much yay in the world when I did that. I love how I did that and how I do that again.

Yesterday and today I found, watched and read information on Jainism. I live and lived, for the past 2 years, almost completely aligned with the prescripted way of Jainist life, regarding personal acts and the philosophy.

I find Jainism lovely looking into. I will focus on where their peaceful way of life comes from.