Not sure if NSFW. Yes, maybe. It’s about physical contact and sex. So if you don’t want that, please skip this post.

My question would be: My libido and arousal dissipate whenever I’m in physical contact with my partner for too long. Not sex, just laying close to each other. Not at first. It takes a while. It feels like stress is building up inside me.

Whenever we get close, a clock starts ticking. Over time ny skin gets less sensitive - I can feel touches but it doesn’t feel good anymore. My jaw gets tense. Headaches start. Arousal dissipates. My head says: I like it being close to my partner. But my body just slams the door shut and shouts: nope, I’m out.

I don’t think this is about performance anxiety or lack of communication.

I really would like to change this. But I don’t know how.

Anyone here who knows this and would be ready to share his/ her own experience and how to successfully mitigate it?

  • ominous ocelot@leminal.spaceOP
    1·
    4 months ago

    This needs to be addressed by professionals. Sensory issues are one thing, it’s how we respond to them that can be a problem.

    Ok

    Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is often required, combined with Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. For the sensory issue itself, Occupational Therapists are trained in it specifically.

    That’s a starting point. Thank you! I will look into these therapy forms. Occupational therapists, good idea.

    traumatic event

    I’m not sure. I wouldn’t know there is one. Would you say, that sensory overload or other autistic traits can be ruled out as the reason? I mean, that could be a good thing, since trauma can be worked with in therapy.

    • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
      2·
      4 months ago

      For dissociation? No, not entirely, hence the need for professional evaluation. Like I said it is a defense mechanism.

      But trauma can come in a lot of forms. Medical, violent, sexual, emotional, neglect etc.