I actually agree with this statement in regards to neutrality versus affirmation, though I don’t think it actually applies in this case.

I’m just going to unpack some definitions. I’m not going to use the loaded word “pandering.” Some people will value neutrality, which I define as being treated the same as everyone else while ignoring any recognization of someone’s identity in a marginalized group, over positive affirmation, which I define as people paying special considerations toward someone in a way that directly validates a person’s identity. Pandering, a different but occasionally related term, refers to a person who uses positive affirmation for personal gain without necessarily believing in the identity or person they’re affirming.

Genuine pandering is a problem, and examples include greenwashing, performative feminism, and rainbow capitalism. Right-wingers sometimes falsely accuse people or organizations of “pandering” when said people or organizations genuinely believe what they preach. There is no evidence that OOP was pandering, and an abundance of evidence that OOP genuinely believed what she wrote.

Some people prefer neutrality, and that’s okay if they don’t demand that everyone must adopt neutrality. Some people want people in their lives who are affirming, which is also okay if they associate themselves with people who genuinely want to be affirming.

The issue here is that you invaded another group and insisted they must live by your standards. You wrote here that you “hate people who pander” and that since you personally don’t like that, “the same should apply to trans groups.” I believe that is bigoted, but I rate it like a 3 out of 10 on the Bigot Scale.

I’m not telling the gay male community that their gayness must be affirmed, if that’s not what they want. I have no right to. It’s up to all of us whether neutrality or affirmation feels right for us, and then communicate that accordingly. In my case, I prefer affirmation with close friends, but neutrality in the workplace.

I’ll say that I’ve seen so much transphobic stuff with “I’m a gay man” as an opening line, and it’s getting exhausting. LBT without the G lmao (/sarc, of course, as I’d rather we all find ways to coexist).

How’s that for an original thought?

deleted by creator

Do communites based on specific sociocultural groups not meant for general Lemmings have the right to set rules amongst themselves?

I want to pose the idea that there are forums better suited for discussion/debate on the philosophy of gender and its adjacent politics that are not c/transfem.

You, a non-trans person, went into a trans community talking about trans stuff, implied that they shouldn’t talk positively about trans stuff on a trans community, and then accused the mods of powertripping when you were banned for going off topic.

It’s not like that post was put on a general Lemmy community. Trans people are going to say nice things about trans people in their own communities. It’s okay when a trans person has a friend who chooses of their own volition to be accepting of them. Is a personal genuine-held belief “pandering”? Does the OOP, a single person expressing this personal view rise to the level of “at all times”? If you personally don’t want non-neutral acceptance in your life as a gay man, that’s your choice.

Idk what you were expecting.