Democracy died when Nixon escaped justice.

The death rattle started in 1877 and the country never recovered.

It was born sickly anyway.

We salute the Menards logo like God intended.

There are three rules when dealing with any police officer. Though if you only remember the first one you’ll be fine.

Rule one: shut the fuck up. Rule two: they’re lying Rule three: shut. The. Fuck. Up.

They fuck shit up in France when things aren’t going the way they want.

As it happens, France has some of the strongest worker protection laws on the planet.

If they’re not afraid of you, they’re only going to use you.

The fuck is wrong with you

This is a smoke screen to grant conservative operators a path to strike down ballot measures before they’re ever voted on. Sure it sounds good. But it’s so vague and hard to test that basically anything you don’t like can be struck down with this if you sue enough.

It doesn’t, but I’m willing to bet a dollar that the name on the institute that wipes out humanity will be a reference to the Lord of the Rings, and it will be one of the evil things.

Probably a low lube level warning

Click on your profile bubble. On Mobile it’s in the top right hand corner. Go to settings. Go to other settings. Language and region can be set manually.

Inb4 several suggestions for both of those things that leave a lot to be desired in feature parity, but that lemmings will insist are better nonetheless.

Exactly

Jake from State farm though…

Which makes you a gay commie if you ride on one of those electric trams. Makes a man want to just… curl up and die… maybe curl up in a comfortable place, next to his extremely straight friend. Maybe he wraps his arms around you, not too tight, just enough. Maybe he leans in and whispers in your ear, that it’s going to be ok. Your nice and safe in your extremely straight friend’s large, muscular arms. The tender kiss is a surprise, but a welcome one. It takes you away to a land without worry. Where the only two people that exist are you, enveloped in his embrace. Just thinking about the electric tram makes you so angry, and his loving arms wipe it away as they tear away your clothes in an extremely straight and macho way. There’s nothing gay about a little blowjob, you tell yourself, as you ta-

I’m sorry were we talking about robot Teslas?

For a few years? Great! Prolonged unwinnable wars in Afghanistan have been crippling empires for centuries. So luring a world power in to a fight there was a great move.

Also, we didn’t just sell the Taliban weapons, we also established permanent bases, trained their soldiers, and then told them to get fucked when they asked us nicely to leave.

Fun fact, prolonged unwinnable wars in Ethiopia have had the same effect. For many of the same reasons.

Another fun fact, Fox News correspondent and man guilty of actual treason Oliver North arranged the sale of weapons to Iran to fund similar activities in Nicaragua.

An additional fun fact, the CIA was also funding the contra-revoltionaries in Latin America with money they made selling cocaine to inner-city drug dealers.

China didn’t ask to buy weapons. Trump offered to sell them weapons. Which, presumably, they declined.

That’s awful shame on you.

What a horrible waste of precious rocket fuel. Launching them in to deep space takes far less fuel and removes the problem all the same. Especially since we’re not worried about g forces on the rocket cargo.

I don’t plan on running for public office.

There may be some running at public office.

A significant portion of porn is coerced. Pornstars frequently do not lead happy lives, nor do they generally look upon their time in porn favorably.

Well that took a wild turn.

Human rights supercede property rights, the rights of kings, and whatever other crazy nonsense you went on about after that.

The rights of people to thrive in their natural environment shall not be put down upon by any other party so long as they do not inflict themselves upon the rights of others. Specifically, if a person’s existence is a problem for you, that’s a problem for you. Not them.

Those with the power and authority to do violence will always impede upon the rights of others in pursuit of wealth. It’s our right to do violence back.

Fuck that shit. They’re not interested in negotiating. They just want you to feel better about being squeezed in to the box they’ve picked out for you.

Be ungovernable.

I damn near ended up in the military I was so shocked to survive high school. Fuckin what the hell was I going to do? My routine! It was all gone!