Move to a poor neigborhood and you don’t need to imagine it

Wank hand forever

and when you had one as a teen you still couldn’t afford to text for hours on end

And neither could my parents as it turned out

I’ve had the exact same experience.

I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that. But before I tell you why I’d like to take a moment to talk about today’s sponsor HelloFresh.

Melinda’s sauces are fantastic. Generally speaking I mostly ditched vinegar bases for fruity sauces, spicy ketchup and chutneys. Oh and a completely different one that I can highly recommend is this one:

It’s ok but iirc they use capsaicin concentrate which just adds artificial heat without flavor. These days I avoid that stuff. The best hot sauces I’ve had were all made from Moruga Scorpion peppers. They pack a lot of heat but it doesn’t hit you as harshly as with other strains. Goes especially well with fruity or smokey spices. My favorite chili pepper by a long shot.

Reminds me of this hot sauce. The actual sensation comes surprisingly close to the image.

Literally Jorjor Well

Or a low-level dentist appointment

Average day of a geologist

Me as a therapist trying to break the awkward silence

It depends. Jesus is certainly as important as Mohammed to Muslims and it’s not prohibited to celebrate his birth but some would never participate simply because it’s a Christian tradition. Also the ban of images makes all the customs around Christmas a little tricky. In Turkey for example a lot of Muslims do celebrate but you won’t find nativity scenes or stuff like that there, only images of Noel Baba (“Christmas Dad” = Santa) who is modeled after Saint Nicholas but himself not a religious figure.

“And what’s that? LimeWire with a folding chair?!”

Shrimp balmed lip

The picture makes me want to try both at the same time

The violin part kinda checks out tbh. It’s like saying a saxophone is basically a shiny clarinet. It’s musician ragebait but it’s not entirely false.