Are we efficient now? Are we great again yet?

Of course there is. That’s what the art of living is.

Uhh, US biscuit or UK biscuit?

Masking is a transdiagnostic* risk for this exact reason.

Every time I see someone raking leaves I get the urge to thank them profusely. I wish lawnmowers and leaf blowers would just vanish. What happened to scythes, anyway?

Omg right? Summer means sandals and bare toes and that means summer is king. I walked around yesterday feeling sun on my skin and it felt like I was recharging spirit energy. And my regular walking sandals are so light now it’s like being barefoot. Ahh, heaven.

Realized? Very young. Had the language to articulate my experience? Still working on it. From the outside looking in a lot of this must seem like an intentional choice to differ. It’s how my mom approached it, like I was just intentionally being difficult. It’s how people around me approached it, like I was just intentionally refusing to fit in. My only exposure to autism was in the form of a middle school classmate, and we were not similar, so I never expected that my condition was closer to his than to the allistic folks around me. Some weeks ago I filled out a questionnaire, the RAADS-R. Got a score above the autistic threshold, and things sort of just…became apparent. After ten minutes of reading about the actual autistic experience I was relieved and heartbroken to discover that what I was living through all along really did have a name, and was not in fact just me choosing to intentionally lead a more difficult life. So I was 33 when I learned that I am autistic.

Took the RAADS-R questionnaire two weeks ago, and got a score significantly above the threshold. Was kind of stunned for a moment, then hopeful. Then I began reading more about autism, and holy shit I can’t believe its been right there this whole time. A lifetime of feeling alienated and profound unbelonging and the answers were here all along, I just didn’t know where to look.