I have 2 cats that both need prescription food or else they get UTIs and urinary crystals and I’m not exaggerating when I say that I spend more monthly on their food than mine. Last week I was putting on my boots getting ready to go off to work another 16 hr OT shift and they were both sitting at my feet crying and I was like hey this is your fault you two are expensive I would prefer to be playing video games right now.
Thanks, it’s good to be heard. I am medicated, but that only gets me from completely nonfunctional to nail biting my way through life. Unfortunately I’m not able to use caffeine either, low amounts are ok, but anything more than a cup of tea leaves me extremely depressed, tired, and physically ill. After a lot of research (actually reading academic papers, not YouTube, lol) I’ve just started cautiously experimenting with micro dosing and it could very well be the placebo effect, but it seems to be working a little better than my meds. Of course it’s illegal as all hell where I am and if I get caught I can kiss my job goodbye forever.
Yes. I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 30s. By then I had already spent my entire life hating myself for being an utter failure because I couldn’t figure out why just having a simple existence felt like trying to climb Mount fucking Everest every goddamn day and why my brain always feels like scrambled eggs. I’ve been passively suicidal most of my life because even as a kid the adults in my life openly compared me to my peers and found me sorely lacking, and as an adult I mourn the life I want and can’t seem to achieve. I feel like my entire existence has been me throwing myself at the bars of a giant cage labelled ADHD and I can’t get myself out or find the key and people come stand outside the door and watch me and say things like “everyone has focus issues” and “you just need to try harder” and my personal fucking favorite “nothing in your brain is impossible to fix if you’re willing to put in the effort, you just are unwilling to change”.
My ADHD has taken everything from me. I have no friends, not even online, I’ve dropped out of school multiple times, I struggle at work, I struggle to emotionally regulate, I’ve only ever had two relationships and I was dumped by text from the person I was married to and ghosted from the other.
I actually have an okay paying job now, but I fully expect I will die alone and broke because the chances of me ever being able to keep a career that pays well enough to stay ahead in this economy are slim to none. I have no idea how to make or keep friends, and I can’t bear the thought of getting attached to someone else only to get ghosted again.
I’d do anything to not have ADHD. Sure I’ll laugh and make ADHD jokes with everyone else, but my life would be so different if my brain would fucking work (or if I would have been diagnosed sooner and learned coping mechanisms and self love sooner).
I’m not a NYC resident, so I can’t vote in their election, but I wouldn’t vote for Cuomo if I was!
:)
(Not a bot)
Self hatred because if you were just better it wouldn’t take 6 hours to clean a one bedroom apartment that you live in alone and are never even home in and if you didn’t suck so much it wouldn’t ever get dirty and need cleaned beyond a quick vacuum in the first place.
The Lemmy version is: “guys I want to install Linux because I’m not comfortable with Windows but I’m not a tech genius and I just want a computer that I can install the OS and not have to worry about it again because I don’t have a lot of free time and I don’t want to have to spend hours troubleshooting it ever and I don’t understand any of the terms you guys throw around when you’re discussing Linux. I don’t know what OS to choose or how to set up the post install and I’m super confused, I hear you talk about repos, and incompatibility with drivers, and picking different options that I don’t understand what they are or how to choose and it’s like you’re all speaking a different language.” “well if you want to rot with Windows then you deserve to have all your personal data stolen, it’s a willing choice you made at this point you idiot, why are you even here?”