Just put him on the floor every time he does it, rather than kicking him out of the room. He’ll get the message eventually. Mine did.

You have to learn cat language.

We’re not in the American wilderness, tho.

This is Germany. What’s going to eat her, a blue tit? Wolves don’t come this close to houses and kites don’t eat cats.

When my cousin came to visit me for a week, she literally yelled “no!” and hit my cat when he jumped onto her lap.

A week later, she said “I think I want a cat.” Now she has a cat.

You should have gone to the vet immediately, not waited to see if she died!

Another disadvantage of open plan homes.

I swear I can still smell last week Friday’s dinner fucking everywhere.