• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
    27·
    5 hours ago

    Let her nap on the way home. She’s got to wake up to go in the house, and a little kiss here and there, a little nibble, a little tickle, and she’ll perk up. Enough.

  • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
    331·
    6 hours ago

    Sometimes sleep is better than an orgasm.

    Waking up partner with oral is a joy tho.

    Usually what ends up happening in this situation 🤷

    • GhostFace@lemmy.today
      1·
      44 minutes ago

      It’s been on the list for a long time. A lot of people are surprisingly uncomfortable with giving it though.

      • Gonzako@lemmy.world
        1·
        38 minutes ago

        Well, you’re being all so snuggly and cute. Would feel too selfish to wake you up for a romp

      • fonix232@fedia.io
        12·
        3 hours ago

        No, not rape. Rape requires a lack of consent. Somnophilia by definition is explicitly consenting to your partner having sex with you while you’re sleeping.

        This can be as little as e.g. waking them up with oral (yes, indeed, oral without consent is still rape! As nice as it sounds to “surprise” them, make sure they’re okay with it first. Having had sex the previous night is NOT consent for any continued sexual activity once they fell asleep!), or going all the way to penetrative sex.

        But the most important aspect is, again, communication. You can communicate consent to a future event, and until that event happens, you can withdraw said consent at any time. And most definitely don’t do it with a one night stand. This kind of consent requires a level of trust you build over time.

        • Monument@piefed.worldEnglish
          4·
          2 hours ago

          I have a sexual parasomnia - while this hasn’t happened in at least 15 years, I used to initiate sex while asleep. I have no memory of it, but I have groped, kissed, sucked on the fingers of people, and sexually touched people sleeping next to me.
          I’ve always woken up just before sex occurred, but I’ve accidentally had sex with people before - people who I was attracted to, but maybe didn’t want to bang - because we fell asleep together.

          These days I’m not nearly in as many beds as I used to be (regardless of purpose) but I’m also an incredibly light sleeper now. The slightest movement and my conscious brain takes over. (Yay for newly(ish) developed hyper vigilance and anxiety.)
          With that said, I don’t sleep next to anyone anymore unless we’ve had a conversation about what could happen, and are on the same page.

          To your point about discussing things: The topic of consent around something that I’m not consciously aware is of occurring can be challenging as hell to navigate, but easier than not having a chat beforehand.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          2·
          2 hours ago

          I think I partially agree with aarkon. Somnophilia is just the fetish, and some people achieve it via cnc. But somno on its own isn’t consensual or not, it’s just the -philia, most people that talk about it just use it in the context of edgeplay and are sexually… Advanced.

          So Aarkon is right to say it’s basically a rape joke, but they’re also wrong. But also it’s an interesting consideration, because a) its basically kink shaming, b) is technically a correct statement, c) edgeplay, while technically fine in the right circumstances, should be self aware that it’s EDGEplay and not for everyone, d) since somno is a thing that does occur to people not consensually, it really is an insensitive joke that can be triggering.

          So, like I said directly to them saying it’s basically a rape joke: yes, but also no.

          I don’t think anybody is going to win here, because there’s no right answer that makes others wrong.

          • fonix232@fedia.io
            3·
            1 hour ago

            If you’re adding somnophilia to a list of agreed to kinks then it’s most definitely consensual.

            And if you do it without consent, it turns from link to rape. Period.

  • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
    3·
    4 hours ago

    My friday and saturday nights… except we dont even go out, its just us settling down in the living room and put on a movie. She gets comfortable and boom out in 10 min. Wakes up 2 hours later says im tired and goes tp bed. Sometimes the next morning things happen, but im really not a morning person so its fine but never as good as night. I also smoke which makes it 1000 times better and thats also only at night which is probably the real reason it’s that much better haha.