I just manage really
I plan and think long term, but I do things short term… That’s really annoying and anxiety inducing, because that means that I just improvise in the panic and overwhelmed mode my brain is in and never follow the plan…
From my own experience I think this is an area where ADHD and Autism are opposites, and with ADHD thinking more short-term and autism being more long term.
I do not have ADHD, but 2 of my partners do. I have a relatively long-term view of everything. I have an easier time with diet, exercise, frugality, and general self-discipline.
I’m.an accountant and in charge of the budget for my wige and me. My wife is sometimes confused- I get annoyed at things like paying $10/month to Sony to play Bloodborne with my bf, or paying for $15 drinks at a bar, or going out to eat 2-3 times per week. But when pur clothes dryer broke I insisted we get a nice and relatively expensive replacement. I hate spending money on such short-term and fleeting satisfsction, but I have no problem investing in something that will provide value over years.
More broadly, I evaluate myself based on the direction where I am going more than the place I am at right now. They say “the only person you should compare yourself to is your past self”, and that’s something I truly feel.
AuADHD, and I feel torn.
Short-term excitement is indulgent. It feels good, and thinking about big long-term problems is so overwhelming it shuts me down.
…But I love over-researching to a ridiculous degree. Or over-doing a long job. But only specific ones.
I feel only momentary satisfaction for all my successes. I look back at raising my kids, which ended pretty well, and I still feel intellectual satisfaction but no real emotional satisfaction. I just purchased a house and haven’t even gotten things put away, and the emotional reward is already gone. My wife is still basking in that glow and looking forward to having everything put away. I just think about the work that needs to be done. That said, I lean hard towards stoicism, so I just keep pushing along and enjoy the brief moments of reward feelings while focusing on doing things that I think are worth doing.
I feel this way about exercise. I hurt my back, and i finished PT, but holy fuck do i hate doing it. I have this abstract idea that ita preventing another hurt back, but that is not present in my mind. I have to constantly remind myself.
People always say “isn’t it at least a relief that it’s over” and I say “Hell no, it sucked, I’m still mad I had to do it, and I could have gotten this same relief much sooner by quitting. The work is behind me, and I’m still not sure shouldn’t have quit two weeks ago…”
So real, still haven’t done the window though
I mean, I don’t actually care if my windows are clean, and I already know I will feel no sense of reward when they are, so I just don’t let anyone talk me into cleaning my windows. At least, not for my own sake.
I’d do it for my wife if she wanted it done, but then my reward is that my wife is happy having cleaned windows, and that is absolutely worth it to me.
Generally, I know what the reward for my long term goals will be before I start, and I am quite happy to accomplish them after all of that time. Am I throwing a party when they’re achieved? No. Of course not. Do I feel a big sense of relief or satisfaction? Again, often no. But satisfaction isn’t generally my goal. When it is, it hits hard, though.
I’ve managed to find myself a job in project management that involves mid/long term planning (that I’m somehow not too bad at). The flip side is all my planning thinking is going towards work and I can’t plan shit in my personal life
this if true would be another indication I don’t have adhd. if anything im crazy over on the opposite side. I want perfect outcomes and will sacrifice like heck to get a better outcome over a worse. I don’t care about partying tonight I care about sleeping in a warm bed most every night.
Same, the idea of not being able to think long term doesn’t even make sense to me, like that’s a fundamental attribute of being a human that we have the ability to think beyond the here and now that other animals don’t have
I think there is that thing of people past, present, and future focused. I know I am like massively future focused. Its likely part of the reason I have anxiety. I think past focuses is the most common and future is next with present being rare and there is a magnitude factor. Like I think about the past alot but mostly in understanding the present and looking to the future. and when I look at the present its with a future angle. Like a think a buddhist ideal would be thinking about each as its own equally or maybe past/future balanced with the majority in the present.
Big yep for the missing long term rewards.
Finished my PhD and it was basically: Hm, okay so that is over now. And I liked my time there, I didn’t work in a slave mine like some others.
That’s was pretty much the same thing I felt too, as well as ‘well now what?’
Neither and both at the same time.
For me the future or past doesn’t exist. So i have to overlay higher thinking to it, because obviously time exists and needs to be taken into consideration.
I basically try to create repeated patterns or routine that in theory should yeald best results in long term, even though long term isn’t something realistic for me. Basically extreme version of delayed gratification, but never getting to the gratification part.
As messed up as it is, kids have been a rather helpful for that. They’re living and walking reminder that i need to consider the future and thanks to that every decision has their best interest in mind.
Otherwise, I’d be dead because, because neither the past or the future exist and the following the random impulses of this exact moment would be lethal.
I definitely tend to think short term. If I enjoy the process, then I can go long term, but I am prone to short term thinking.
I’m trying to think more long term though. 😓
There is only now, and not now.
I think in now vs not now. I suck at planning, so I have a lot of practice at winging it.
