• AxExRx@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    I get it, I absolutely respect someone wanting to be safe, but i think it would also absolutely ruin the date for me. I just can’t really interact the same way in a group as I do one on one. Either that, or I’d end upv mirroring both of them simultaneously and it would end up in a throuple.

    • Beacon@fedia.io
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      23 hours ago

      I respect it, but i don’t get it, and it would be a complete deal breaker for me. What do you think a person on a date in a public place is gonna do to you?

      • hypnicjerk@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        right, this is basically saying “i don’t trust you not to spike my drink, take me to a second location, and rape me”

        and maybe you shouldn’t be online dating at all if that’s where you start out from

        • Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.com
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          6 hours ago

          Why should they trust some random dude they met on a dating app?

          You act like that’s some crazy fear, but it happens all the fucking time.

          If you’re that dismissive of other people’s concerns, maybe you shouldn’t be online dating at all.

          • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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            2 hours ago

            Why should he trust her?

            You’re coming from a place of internalized misandry and fear.

            That doesn’t make a healthy relationship.

            Why even date men if you think they’re all rapists?

            • Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.com
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              1 hour ago

              He shouldn’t, and the fact that that idea doesn’t even cross most men’s minds is an enormous privilege.

              I don’t know about you, but I generally take a little time getting to know someone before I decide to trust them. Why on earth would you not?

              What you don’t seem to consider is the risk involved. When the consequence of misplaced trust is potentially rape or death, a small amount of caution is plainly warranted.

              Nobody is out here assuming all men are rapists, that question is as irrelevant as it is idiotic. The point is that any man could be a rapist, and those odds sure as hell aren’t small enough to just roll the dice on some rando you’ve never met.

              It’s easier for us (I’m assuming you’re male too). I don’t really have to care. The worst consequence we can reasonably expect is what? A too attached girl who won’t leave you alone? When was the last time you went on a date with someone who could physically restrain you? It’s not the fucking same, no matter how much you want to pretend it is.

        • Beacon@fedia.io
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          20 hours ago

          But even then, no one needs to ask you out on a date to do that. Any time you go out in public by yourself that could happen just as easily. If you’re that unreasonably fearful then i don’t want to spend time with you

          • Blueberrydreamer@lemmynsfw.com
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            6 hours ago

            Most women don’t make a habit of going out to bars alone, for good reason. It’s a very real risk.

            As a guy who’s been roofied (presumably by accident, still don’t know what happened) I sure as hell don’t blame them.