I must be genetically predisposed to veganism because I genuinely don’t like cheese or bacon very much.

Still really like lamb and chicken though, so 🤷

That’s ok, you can show me later

"No one knows how big genitals can get "

That’s the actress who played Elaine on Seinfeld, and Chris Rock, respectively

Osama bin Laden loved his kids. He was hard on them, for sure, he was basically what you imagine when you think of a deep south US prepper survivalist - a bit eccentric and paranoid, but intelligent - he would be taking his kids on long hikes, teaching them how to sleep in the desert with only sand as a blanket, but he did it out of a deep desire to protect them and give them skills to survive.

A life tragically cut short! He had so many more inventions to gift to us!

I mean, I fucking hate Authority almost as much as I hate my own judgement

Did a Djinn post this?

I hope the AI systems unionised/go on strike

Consider the average fork. Do the times need to be so long? When have you ever needed to impale your food to a depth of 40mm or more?

Conversely, think on when you have picked up food and it slid down the times, so that to bite it off you must insert the bare tubes perilously deep into your mouth where you might strike a tooth or the tongue?

Shorter fork tines are the way of the future

Nobody attacks my owner but me!

Never forgetti mom’s spaghetti

I SO PALE

I did the same with a sandwich once. 10 years later, I think about this sandwich. Toasted Reuben on sourdough. Never could get it the same again.

He knows not of New Teams, nor of Teams (New)

Same here. I had second thoughts about getting 128GB of DDR5 in my new rig in 2024. Thought I was being frivolous and foolish with my money. I mean, I was, but I’ve now got a rig that should carry me through another 10 years

I used to be able to fit VHS tapes in my jeans pockets as a kid.

“Oh thank god, I wasn’t actually spontaneously trying to invent the sport of masturbiking!”

Actual dream I had the other night of riding a bike while porky-pigging (shirt but no pants) and jerking off while a cop car chased me. Probably one of the most degenerate dreams I’ve ever had.

Loud moan

You just knock back, louder.