That’s enough Internet for me today, thanks!

I can only speak for my own experience, but here’s what I’ve been doing.

I have had an interest in the violin since I was in middle school. Back then my parents couldn’t afford to get me one, much less lessons. I tried twice as a adult to pick it up on my own (renting an instrument and watching videos on YouTube) but both times I couldn’t stick with it and ended up returning the instrument. I eventually bought one secondhand and told myself I’d learn at some point. But after the times with the rental I couldn’t bring myself to try. I knew how bad I’d been at it before. Then, about 2.5 years ago, I got a raise at work and decided I’d try again, paying for lessons this time. My instructor and I worked out a system for me. I never ever touch the violin when I don’t want to. I’m still not good at playing it! But I still LOVE playing it when I do. Over the last two years I learned that it was never the fact that I sucked that tore me away from the violin. It was that I had framed it as a task I HAD to do to get better. And I would grow to hate picking it up and so eventually just give up. Now though, I practice just about every day that I’m home for, but if I look at it and feel dread, I just don’t. I circle back a few hours later and try again. Usually it’s passed, sometime not. I don’t question it any more.

Honestly I’m at the point now where I could probably stop frequent lessons and still grow and learn from YouTube and the occasional one off lesson, but I like the motivation my teacher gives me. I still have an insane amount of way to go to be what I’d call good at playing, but it’s still fun!

Over the last couple years I’ve been trying this with all my interests. I sew now! I’m getting marginally better with every dumb project. When I look at it and I feel dread (real dread, not indifference) then I pass it over for the hour, or day. If I’m indifferent, I push myself to do 3 minutes of something. 3 minutes is a good start. No timer though. Just not the time on my phone and start. I’ve never even looked at my phone within those 3 minutes. And usually after getting started I am invested in continuing.

The hard part about all this is that is requires you to be disciplined and honest with yourself. Some days you’ll fail at that (I certainly do!) but it does get easier over the long term (although you’ll fall off after months of solid progress and have to get back to it after, and that will suck). Most people don’t take the time to really think about their own emotional state and this requires (not recommends, REQUIRES) you to do that.

Good luck. You’re going to have good days and bad days, but as long as you keep working, your skills (for your hobby and for your understanding of yourself) will grow and grow! I hate to prove all those therapists out there right, but it actually is kinda rewarding.

Hobbies are great ways to find the friends! If it’s a hobby that requires you to buy stuff, just start asking the staff at the store for recommendations for groups that you might be able to join. Check Facebook or Twitter for people (in your area or just in general) that are already in said hobby. You stand to make friends AND get better at said hobby. Win win.

I get it. When you’re a kid, friends come from being locked up in the same building all day. As an adult the options are work or community (religious house, community center, or hobby specific spaces). It is harder because you only spend a similar amount of time as you did at school in one of those and it’s the least fun one. But it can be done! It just takes time. I guess that advice goes for hobbies and for friendships.

I also worry home prices will jump to eat up any monthly cost differences, too. Like okay your 50 year mortgage is $100 less a month but we increased the price of the house by $50000 so unless you’re already a homeowner (and plan on renting next) then you’ll be further priced out of the market.

But won’t the rate be higher, like 30 year rates are higher than 15 year rates? I don’t know much about economics but I remember that being a thing when I was looking at mortgages. I assume it has to do with long-term risk for the lender.

Also, how many people actually stay in a home for 50 years without moving? I know my earlier house payments had a larger portion going to interest (I assume this is a math thing?) than my more recent payments, therefore you build equity really slowly at first, meaning you’re not building enough equity to even cover the costs of the ownership or the cost to sell unless you stay in place for a long time.

I’m just a dummy but this feels like a scary thing and not a good thing.

Chevy S-10. I think a 1999? Around that anyway.

Still miss that little truck. The clutch had two positions - on and off. It was a pain to drive but once I learned on it I could drive anything.

I still drive stick today.