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Perhaps they have the plane autism that’s about the business side of things.

Oddly enough, this specific problem is usually solved by restarting Explorer, which is basically “windows.exe.” No explorer, no windows.

opening the task manager with a shotgun cocking sound

Shame…

They just pressed them so hard it squeezed the screen in a little bit.

Turn that white lab into a brown lab. Or the even rarer red lab if you’re strong enough.

It’s called “motion blur.”

Big Floof

He sounded like a guy in my area who gets drunk, gets on Grindr, and complains that there aren’t any twinks around here in their constsntly updating profile.

“You’re all too fat and hairy!”

F-A, F-O. 😃

dead silence

🥲🤡

“They’re going to change her from alive to not alive.”

Yeah wait… If nobody is getting paid, what the fuck are my taxes doing? Give 'em back.

If you bring a friend, they better be down for a 3 way if things go well. The only time this hapoened to me, was when two girls invited me to a 3way and then one of them chickened out, then got mad that I still fucked her friend. Like… That was the entire reason I was there!

The STDs caught from robosex are gonna be gnar. Some kid in another country’ll upload a virus that hijacks your dick. Gonna need a trojan to protect against trojans.

What a maroon. Polygraphs are a famously flawed pseudoscience. Might as well ask them to look you straight in the eye to prove they aren’t lying.

The quickest way to get someone to do something is to tell them they can’t.

“Why don’t you go piss your pants again?”

“That was, like, 8 years ago, asshole!”

“People don’t forget.”

Calling non-fascists fascist is such a fascist thing to do.

Don’t want people to call you a fascist? Stop being a fascist. It’s that easy.

It would be fucking hilarious to be giving out bottled water and one of the trick or treaters comes as the Quick rabbit.

“Oh shit, here they come!”

Jesus fuck. Almost $30 for those big bags?

I am definitely going to WinCo and getting 5 pounds of peanut butter cups. They’re only ~$2 or 3/pound from the bulk bins!

They’re not Reese’s but they are just as good.