… exactly. That’s the whole reason why it’s important to actually address these kids’ needs on an individual basis, and not just slap them into a for profit prison pipeline.

It starts with parents giving a shit and it is sustained with support programs.

Ah yes, I know those moments well. On the mild end, my son used to trash his room, and specifically destroyed our favorite read together books or books I got him special, just to try and get to me. It took years of me explaining he’s only hurting himself when this happens. He’s broke many things he loves out of anger. He’s finally starting to get it. Even sometimes, when hes upset and in his room working it out, in a healthy way, he will bring out his favorite possession and hand it/them to me, 'im not feeling safe and I don’t want to ruin this item" so he gives it to me to keep it safe, until he’s feeling better. It took fucking years to get to that point.

Meds have helped a lot, with ongoing group/individual therapy. After episodes, I’ve heard him, cry/whimper in his room, “why am I like this!?” And man it breaks your heart.

I’m glad you haven’t given up, I’ve nearly given up 100 times but we keep pushing forward. Keep seeking that light at the end of the tunnel. I see what you mean now, yeah, in the moment you have to assure safety. It’s not an easy job.

Absolutely.

I’ve dealt with some of these schools. You have untrained staff literally yelling, “Do your work now!” To a room full of kids with ODD and others. Then sit back and wonder why it’s not working. Their solution when they become dysregulated is to lock them in solitary confinement until they, calm down.

It’s garbage. It doesn’t work. It is institutional failure, because, well, profits over everything in the United States.

They had my son in a similar program, outplacement, not residential however. It was called High Roads. They have had multiple cases opened against them, and I refuse to let them ever place him there again. The school they had him in was a converted office space in an industrial park. It didn’t even have a gym. They are also for profit, and treat the staff like garbage.

I asked in an interview, how do you help a child who is in crisis, and they showed me their concrete cell. That’s the plan. Just detain the child in basically solitary confinement. My son self harms in this kind of thing, while it will keep other students and staff safe (highly important) it does nothing to help the child’s actual issues.

They tried to place him there again last year, I’ve loved all my son’s teachers, but last year’s teacher was, not great. So when he had trouble, they wanted to put him there again. I said no, and faught them on it with our states advocate program. High Roads the cheapest out placement for the school. When I brought to them other, more expensive, better outplacement options, they fucking folded when I said our compromise could be to keep him in his current in district program. His teacher this year is fantastic, and is so far doing well. Advocate for you kids man. And fuck High Roads and these for profit child prisions.

It’s like locking a misbehaving dog in a cage, and then they wonder why they bite. Its foolishness.

I’m deeply saddened that this event with the teacher losing her life. This is the worst I’ve ever heard. That’s absolutely should not have happened. Many of these schools are not meant to actually help children. They sacrifice the wellbeing of staff and the kids for profit. The system is fucked. And I guarantee you, this tragedy won’t be enough to change anything meaningful.

Yeah dude. It’s sad, but sometimes a kid is just dangerous to other people. There’s no amount of reason or gentleness that can help.

My son is special needs, has/had violent episodes. While this statement might be true, I just can’t agree. I may have given up my career to sit in therapist offices, but I believe every troubled kid deserves a shot. With enough love (and meds and coping skills) one can overcome the sheer angst that lives inside them.

I have absolutely had to ‘hold’ my own child at the school in years past. Shits not for the weak, but I’ve watched him overcome this, and is becoming more successful each year. With enough support, these kids can be successful. The truth is, the parents also need support, and they often don’t have it themselves, so it compounds into deeming the child a lost cause.

I hate when what should happen, doesn’t become what is. But no child is irredeemable. That’s how I feel.

I was going to mention this. My son was taught “sight words” and it’s the dumbest fucking bullshit I’ve ever seen.

On top of that, many parents of today, do not put an importance on reading at home.

Only one teacher he’s had has done spelling tests, in all these years… one teacher.

I practice both reading and writing with my son as often as he can tolerate at home. It’s really sad seeing these kids cannot spell or write, or yes even read.

They fucked a whole generation of kids, in more than a few ways, but one of which was definitely the years they switched off phonics and taught bogus sight words.

Have they tried breaking it down into smaller steps to make it more manageable?

I have to, I mean HAVE to, get paperwork done today.

So far today I have mowed/weed wacked the yard, weeded and watered my garden, pulled meat from the freezer to defrost and planned dinner for tonight, and took one phone call in regards to said paperwork. They called me, of course.

I’m now on break and it’s nearly noon. This paperwork is over my head and I am overwhelmed. I could start on other chores just to avoid it, instead I uh, am taking break. I have to get this done, and I am annoyed as to why I have to do it at all… I might just pull it out to look at it. That’s step one no?