OK, now my mind is coming up with a complete reboot of the movie.
Character Mappings
Jesus (Westley): The resilient migrant worker advocating for immigrant rights. Quote: “As you wish.”
Melania (Buttercup): The elegant First Lady, symbolizing grace and advocacy for families, with her illegal immigrant status leveraged politically. Quote: “I just want to be an example for the children.”
Beto O’Rourke (Inigo Montoya): The passionate champion for justice known for his compelling speeches, seeking vengeance against injustice. Quote: “This is not the time to be timid.”
Bernie (Fezzik): The gentle giant fighting for social equality and worker rights. Quote: “I don’t even exercise.”
Miller (Vizzini): The crafty strategist behind complex political maneuvers. Quote: “Inconceivable!”
Supporting Characters
Humpadink (Prince Humperdinck): The cunning political figure focused on power and control, leading efforts to deport immigrants to neighboring Guilder. Quote: “I’m not a monster; I’m just a little misunderstood.”
Fantastic Fauci (Miracle Max): The healthcare expert known for vital, unconventional public health advice. Quote: “It’s a matter of life and death.”
Dread Pirate Thunberg (The Dread Pirate Roberts): The bold environmental activist using dramatic tactics in her advocacy. Quote: “How dare you!”
ICE (The Goon Squad): The federal agency enforcing stringent immigration policies, symbolizing the oppressive machinery of deportation. Quote: “No tolerance.”
The Turtle Necked Man (Count Rugen): The turtle like antagonist involved in the deportation plot and a cruel enforcer of power. Quote: “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”
Noem (Yellin): The assertive political figure known for her vocal stance on immigration and law enforcement. Quote: “We must take a stand.”
Some of those still need some work.
If you have a 14 yo massaging a 50 yo AND VIDEO OF IT IS USED AS BLACKMAIL, that’s a different matter altogether.