I’m a gay man. I absolutely hate people who pander to us just as much as people who hate us.

The same should apply to trans groups, I sincerely doubt every trans individual wants to be placed on a pedestal at all times.

Result? Banned from a community.

Power trip confirmed 👍.

  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 days ago

    I actually agree with this statement in regards to neutrality versus affirmation, though I don’t think it actually applies in this case.

    I’m just going to unpack some definitions. I’m not going to use the loaded word “pandering.” Some people will value neutrality, which I define as being treated the same as everyone else while ignoring any recognization of someone’s identity in a marginalized group, over positive affirmation, which I define as people paying special considerations toward someone in a way that directly validates a person’s identity. Pandering, a different but occasionally related term, refers to a person who uses positive affirmation for personal gain without necessarily believing in the identity or person they’re affirming.

    Genuine pandering is a problem, and examples include greenwashing, performative feminism, and rainbow capitalism. Right-wingers sometimes falsely accuse people or organizations of “pandering” when said people or organizations genuinely believe what they preach. There is no evidence that OOP was pandering, and an abundance of evidence that OOP genuinely believed what she wrote.

    Some people prefer neutrality, and that’s okay if they don’t demand that everyone must adopt neutrality. Some people want people in their lives who are affirming, which is also okay if they associate themselves with people who genuinely want to be affirming.

    The issue here is that you invaded another group and insisted they must live by your standards. You wrote here that you “hate people who pander” and that since you personally don’t like that, “the same should apply to trans groups.” I believe that is bigoted, but I rate it like a 3 out of 10 on the Bigot Scale.

    I’m not telling the gay male community that their gayness must be affirmed, if that’s not what they want. I have no right to. It’s up to all of us whether neutrality or affirmation feels right for us, and then communicate that accordingly. In my case, I prefer affirmation with close friends, but neutrality in the workplace.

    I’ll say that I’ve seen so much transphobic stuff with “I’m a gay man” as an opening line, and it’s getting exhausting. LBT without the G lmao (/sarc, of course, as I’d rather we all find ways to coexist).

    How’s that for an original thought?

    • karma_will_f_you_up@discuss.tchncs.deOP
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      9 days ago

      Thank you.

      You’re the only person here who genuinely engaged.

      I won’t carry on with this discussion because clearly people (not you) are out for blood. And don’t interpret this as me assuming you’ve sided with me and then lashing out, I know full well you mostly stand against what I said. But you at least read what I said. Which can’t be said for many other here.

      So thanks again.

      • Eugene V. Debs' Ghost@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 days ago

        You’re the only person here who genuinely engaged.

        I won’t carry on with this discussion

        The one person you deemed good and you refuse to talk to them. Big red flag of bad faith.

            • karma_will_f_you_up@discuss.tchncs.deOP
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              9 days ago

              Love that me wanting equal and fair treatment of everyone instead of fake positivity is “being weird”. I’m well aware your entire group would actually wish me harm if I got doxxed.

              Doesn’t need to be physically, you clearly enjoy jumping on the “fuck him” train without second thought as to what I’m saying.

      • breadsmasher@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        Its funny you think that comment was actually in your corner 😂

        Every comment you make has demonstrated less and less reading comprehension