I’m a gay man. I absolutely hate people who pander to us just as much as people who hate us.
The same should apply to trans groups, I sincerely doubt every trans individual wants to be placed on a pedestal at all times.
Result? Banned from a community.
Power trip confirmed 👍.
You, a non-trans person, went into a trans community talking about trans stuff, implied that they shouldn’t talk positively about trans stuff on a trans community, and then accused the mods of powertripping when you were banned for going off topic.
It’s not like that post was put on a general Lemmy community. Trans people are going to say nice things about trans people in their own communities. It’s okay when a trans person has a friend who chooses of their own volition to be accepting of them. Is a personal genuine-held belief “pandering”? Does the OOP, a single person expressing this personal view rise to the level of “at all times”? If you personally don’t want non-neutral acceptance in your life as a gay man, that’s your choice.
Idk what you were expecting.
Sharing an anecdote about trans people in a trans community is not pandering. Your comment was likely deleted because you were all lives mattering the whole thing. If this isn’t a troll, maybe take some time to consider why your comment wasn’t welcome instead of just simmering and complaining that it wasn’t.
That is not what I said. And your strawman is worthless. I guess the mod brought their army to brigade me. This is quite hilarious actually.
Ah yes, the old “other people are siding with someone I disagree with so clearly they’re biased and I shouldn’t consider their words at all”!
Better than twisting someone’s argument because you don’t have a point to stand on.
If a hypothetical trans person were to feel that the actions and attitudes of !Transfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone were too pandering, said HTP would be more than welcome to cease association with that community.
You posted a comment that went contrary to, if not the letter, the spirit of the rules of the community. Your unsolicited negativity was deemed detrimental to the curated experience there.
I have little doubt that the same sort of comment made by anyone else, be they trans or cis, masculine, feminine, or neuter, would be handled by an equivalent invitation to no longer take part in a community that they expressed such an antithetical attitude toward the general spirit of.
At best, BPR; I tend to believe that you commented with the intention of crying foul about the action that you already knew would result. Otherwise you were not cognizant of the climate in the community you commented in, and therefore YDI.
In other words: if you shit in the punch bowl, do not be surprised when you are kicked out of the party.
Antithetical would be to be bigoted. Saying that neutrality is preferred over pandering is not bigotry.
You saying what I wrote was antithetical is disingenuous if not dishonest. But I know you can’t stop yourself from bandwagoning because just like every other sheep in this comment section you see every difference in opinion as dissent from the hive mind.
Have an original thought.
I’ll feed you a bit, as a treat.
The only disingenuity or dishonesty in our exchange so far is your willful misinterpretation of what would be, in context, antithetical. In this discussion, it is anything in diametrical contrast to the letter and spirit of the community you were banned from. It is not for you to be the arbiter of what is or is not perferred there.
The community in question and others on LBZ practice a form of extreme acceptance. It is codified in the mtf community sidebar in the statements:
This is a supportive community…
and
…disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
and
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
and
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Your removed “challenge” to the tone of the original post falls in direct opposition to the stated guidelines for being allowed to contribute there. Even the recreated, possibly sanitized version you have presented here is clearly beyond what many LBZ communities find acceptable. Further argument to the contrary, coupled with your attempts to personally disparage anyone who does not agree with your erroneous position, only solidifies the notion that you are not operating in good faith.
If everyone is presenting a similar version of the same reasoning, that does not necessarily imply a hive mind; sometimes it just means you are an asshole.
“possibly sanitized” It was pretty much word for word. Not that you’re arguing in good enough faith to consider that in your “argument”.
If antithesis is anything that goes “against spirit of the community” then you’re wrong on so many levels that it’s not even worth explaining. But in the off-chance your occipital lobe hasn’t fried itself from so much bandwagoning, antithetical means diametrically opposed. Not slightly against the spirit of.
You can mental gymnastics your way into any point, still doesn’t mean you’re right. Clearly.
I actually agree with this statement in regards to neutrality versus affirmation, though I don’t think it actually applies in this case.
I’m just going to unpack some definitions. I’m not going to use the loaded word “pandering.” Some people will value neutrality, which I define as being treated the same as everyone else while ignoring any recognization of someone’s identity in a marginalized group, over positive affirmation, which I define as people paying special considerations toward someone in a way that directly validates a person’s identity. Pandering, a different but occasionally related term, refers to a person who uses positive affirmation for personal gain without necessarily believing in the identity or person they’re affirming.
Genuine pandering is a problem, and examples include greenwashing, performative feminism, and rainbow capitalism. Right-wingers sometimes falsely accuse people or organizations of “pandering” when said people or organizations genuinely believe what they preach. There is no evidence that OOP was pandering, and an abundance of evidence that OOP genuinely believed what she wrote.
Some people prefer neutrality, and that’s okay if they don’t demand that everyone must adopt neutrality. Some people want people in their lives who are affirming, which is also okay if they associate themselves with people who genuinely want to be affirming.
The issue here is that you invaded another group and insisted they must live by your standards. You wrote here that you “hate people who pander” and that since you personally don’t like that, “the same should apply to trans groups.” I believe that is bigoted, but I rate it like a 3 out of 10 on the Bigot Scale.
I’m not telling the gay male community that their gayness must be affirmed, if that’s not what they want. I have no right to. It’s up to all of us whether neutrality or affirmation feels right for us, and then communicate that accordingly. In my case, I prefer affirmation with close friends, but neutrality in the workplace.
I’ll say that I’ve seen so much transphobic stuff with “I’m a gay man” as an opening line, and it’s getting exhausting. LBT without the G lmao (/sarc, of course, as I’d rather we all find ways to coexist).
How’s that for an original thought?
Thank you.
You’re the only person here who genuinely engaged.
I won’t carry on with this discussion because clearly people (not you) are out for blood. And don’t interpret this as me assuming you’ve sided with me and then lashing out, I know full well you mostly stand against what I said. But you at least read what I said. Which can’t be said for many other here.
So thanks again.
You’re the only person here who genuinely engaged.
I won’t carry on with this discussion
The one person you deemed good and you refuse to talk to them. Big red flag of bad faith.
Because of people like you. Like I mentioned in my reply about people out for blood (you).
That’s right, calling you out for being weird is wanting you harmed. Give me your blood! I feast on it! I desire it!
Love that me wanting equal and fair treatment of everyone instead of fake positivity is “being weird”. I’m well aware your entire group would actually wish me harm if I got doxxed.
Doesn’t need to be physically, you clearly enjoy jumping on the “fuck him” train without second thought as to what I’m saying.
Its funny you think that comment was actually in your corner 😂
Every comment you make has demonstrated less and less reading comprehension
If you read what I wrote and interpreted it as that, you’re the one with piss poor reading comprehension, idiot.
YDI/YDM.
You are also missing #4 of the posting guidelines. No, your comments after the screenshot do not qualify, there is no substance there. It does provide some insight into what you posted, though not the way you were probably hoping it would be interpreted.
Deserved it.
Let me know when you (if ever) start thinking for yourself.
Keep regressing.
you were the one to insult me for thinking you deserved a ban for your behaviour. I’m just calling it like I see it
Telling you to have original thoughts instead of bandwagoning is an insult now, brilliant.
the condescension is the insult, I’m perfectly capable of coming to the conclusion that you’re an asshole independently.
slay, queen
When tired trolls imagine that they’re being “original.” lmao.
You deserved it, look into a mirror and ask yourself if you’d like this happening to you.
Yes, I’d rather like equality in treatment, thank you very much.
This is equality in treatment, if a trans person acted like this to a gay community we’d also do this to them.
Lmao. No I wouldn’t. You’re all lashing out because you clearly dislike equality, you prefer a world where certain groups are emphasised or marginalized.
Not gonna happen from me. And that’s got you all sensitive, it’s quite funny.
Yes we’re the sensitive folk, not you whining about trans people being happy.
Tl;dr: Transphobe desperately tries to garner attention.
Obvious troll. Doesn’t include their actual comment. Probably phony tale about “i am a gay man”. YDI.
Sorry that I got sucked into engaging with this creep. Should be banned.
What did you say ? In what context ?
His comment has been purged, but I was able to find the post he replied to. Which was about being the first to call a trans person by their name and seeing the joy it brings them.
So at the very least, saying “don’t pander” is off-topic. Unless he considers using a trans person’s actual name “pandering”, which is bigoted.
Oh, and the account is 2 days old, and this comment was the second comment ever made. And all this, including the YPTB post, was within the last hour. Me-thinks troll.
Here
Post title: “Spread trans joy, not hate”
OP: “Don’t put being trans on a pedestal. People are people. Treat everyone equally or be the bigots you’re preaching about.”
Calling OP a troll is indeed the nicest interpretation I can manage.
Honestly, exactly what I expected based on the other behavior.
It’s so easy to call people trolls. Easy way out of needing to use your brain.
It’s also easy to call a quacking waterfowl a duck. You make a new account, post inflamatory comments on a community you don’t belong to by your own admission, then post here to complain about that community.
The nicest thing I can call you is a troll.
Clearly this sub is one you don’t belong to, and yet you’re still here, not following the first pinned post in it.
Pot calling the kettle black.
Bigotery is not a matter of opinion to agree or disagree with
You’re the bigot for advocating that equal treatment is bigotry. Look in a mirror.
You are complaining about one of those minority groups who doesn’t get equal treatments while claiming those who get the right treatment to not have equal treatments
You’re the troll for arguing that trans pride is reverse homophobia. gtfo.
This is very funny, seeing how my comment has one downvote and yours has one upvote. And downvoting trolls is a perfectly valid use of it.
At the very least, I belong in a power trip discussion community more than a cis gay man belongs in a trans fem community.
Edit: I will say, the dude had an accurate username.
“yours has one upvote” clearly they don’t teach math where you’re from.
You’re breaking rules. I was not. Reflect on that, if your neurons aren’t too busy banging cymbals.
You’re breaking rules.
Get lost troll.
Trans pride is reverse h0mophib1A!!! jfc.
I don’t have access to my exact comment. But I said what I said above. That trans people shouldn’t be placed on a pedestal, and true acceptance is equality in treatment for everyone.
That’s enough for a ban and insulting modlog, apparently.
This was under a post about “spreading trans joy, not hate”. To that I say, don’t spread anything. Just live your lives. Not difficult to understand that true equality is apathy.
Just looked at the post.
Why comment that under this ? There is no “putting on pedestal” there.
Btw I agree that the mod was powertrippin’
It was about the title, not necessarily the contents.
I advocate for neutrality. That, to me, is equal treatment.
Call trans person by their chosen name rather than their dead name
hUrR tHaTs PaNdErInG
Your strawman means nothing. Just like you.
Ah… I do love the irony when a poster can’t even manage to refrain from being an asshole on their own thread complaining about how unfairly they were treated somewhere else.
Try not being an asshole to me. Of course you can’t. It’s bandwagon time!
Literally not a strawman. I dont think you have a solid grasp on what that word means.
That level of understanding explains why you were banned. You clearly have no idea of the meaning of the words you use.
Good luck! Maybe youll have a sudden realisation one day.
You not knowing that your own strawman is a strawman is a fantastic display of idiocy.
Anyone else notice the OP’s account is five days old, and only has the comment they were banned for (now removed) as well as this post and the three replies in this post. Yeah, totally legitimate concerns here by OP.
don’t, just don’t waste energy with mods.
I’ve lost an account because I stated an opinion that was against the herd.
This is how moderation is on lemmy, one herd opinion, if yours is different you get banned
Do communites based on specific sociocultural groups not meant for general Lemmings have the right to set rules amongst themselves?
I want to pose the idea that there are forums better suited for discussion/debate on the philosophy of gender and its adjacent politics that are not c/transfem.
it’s not about that, it’s about freedom of speech, which clearly doesn’t exist on Lemmy
To be clear, it explicitly doesn’t exist on blahaj lemmy instances and their communities. We put the safety and needs of trans and gender diverse folk first and foremost. If someone does a transphobia, however civil and legal, it’s going to get removed from blahaj communities, free speech or not, because protecting the needs of trans folk is a higher priority for us than protecting the ability for people to harass trans folk.
understood, thank you for emphasizing that
deleted by creator
let’s just agree to disagree
let’s just agree to disagree that I can say what I want with no consequences, that’s my freedom, not yours
sure, if that’s your opinion, I respect it
Did you know!
MuH FrEeDum oF sPeEcH is an american thing.
So glad to live in a country where hate speech isn’t legal 😌
go to bed kiddo, it’s too late for you at this time
So you didnt know that?
You have the freedom of speech. They’re just not required to be your platform, or listen to it.
that’s fair
I’ve lost an account because I stated an opinion that was against the herd.
Ofc no mention of the “opinion” in question.
