A lot of people are very difficult to communicate with. My least favorite pathologies are

the fascist type, who just skims over what you said to find justification for what they already believed and dismisses everything else

the slopchild¹ who reflexively reacts to concepts and can’t comprehend that something is a critique or a discussion of how to cope with, just vibing on the idea and using that as an excuse to lash out

And the pure tool who thinks only in terms of social disapproval with a kind if neurotic fervor so quick to judge they don’t process full sentences.

Those people are impossible. I’ve just given up on trying to communicate with them linguistically. Sometimes i use music or violence, which aren’t terribly precise, and does not tend to make me friends. Especially not music.

¹referring to their mental state, not their age. You’d think this was a function of trauma, but it doesn’t seem to be immediately so in most cases. Its like larping PTSD.

not sure if I have ADHD, but I am autistic.

I hate it when I say one thing without stuttering or mis-speaking even a little and the person I’m talking to responds to the exact opposite of what I said

I have ADHD and love explaining things and it took years of practice to get an idea of what level of detail to get into depending on the audience. The main thing is to always approach it as sharing knowledge, not telling someone else to think. The difference isn’t obvious, but at a basic level asking if they have thought of something a certain way just lands better than telling them something as if it was a fact even when it is a fact. In a group setting sprinkling in words like ‘maybe we should’ and ‘what if we did’ make being listened to more likely. I think it is stupid because it is working around people’s default rejection of finding out they don’t know or are wrong about something, but apparently it is necessary for most people.

Also making sure to keep a slow pacing helps immensely. I tend to speed up as I go and sometimes have soneone I trust give me hints I’m going too fast so I can slow back down again.

Now I get asked to explain technical things to non-technical people, which is fun most of the time.

Yeah.

I’ve been working on this, even started to believe I’d gotten good at it.

And still, I’m sitting here this weekend feeling really worthless because I tried to deal with a group of upset people and they took my efforts to help and attacked, judged and rejected me for it.

And I know all of what went on, I know exactly what I’d say to someone who is where I am right now and it doesn’t help me today. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Communicating effectively is a skill that requires feedback and practice to hone. Try to find a couple of people which you trust to give you honest constructive criticism.