in spite of myself i choose Saucy Goblin Spoon and am angry every time i eat cereal until i die
#1.
Otherwise, you’re a fucking moron.
Nooo the creases would drive me crazy
Don’t clamp down on the spoon like you’re trying to pay rent with alternative options
None of the above, I will use my fingers instead.
Four looks like the only one made of stainless steel. The rest will have a flavour.
#1 looks like tarnished silver. That’s clean up easy.
Childhood memory of surprisingly disgusting pudding 🔓
GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL
GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
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GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
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- GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
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- GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
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Seriously, someone with internet search powers, please tell me where I can get number 3. I want to carry it in my pocket at all times and reveal it in the middle of conversations like a badge of my goblinage.
It seems likely there are at least two letters missing here.
Oops lol too excited about the goblin shovel I fixed it
If 4 is some weird ass moomin spoon like I think it might, definitely that one because fuck yeah moomin!
Otherwise it has to be the goblin shovel.
#4 looks like a shoehorn. Is that even concave enough to use as a spoon? Likely not. That’s out.
#3 is definitely not a spoon. No idea what it is, but it’s not gonna work well as a spoon. Not gonna deal with that one.
#2 is actually a spoon, but a small one. It’ll be frustrating to use forever. I’d prefer not to use it.
#1 is actually a decent sized spoon. Oddly shaped, but it’ll hold a decent amount of food or liquid. I guess I could live with that one.
It doesn’t say we get a fork or knife, so I’ll choose 2 for it’s pointy/stabbing ability.
Mooooomin spoooon
You’re also going to keep cutting the sides of your mouth with #2 (maybe not at first but if it’s the only one you can use, forever?).
3 looks like my grandmothers sugar spoon from one of those little jar and spoon sets
you can kill a zombie with #2.
As a bonus, I’m pretty sure #1 is tarnished Sterling silver.
3 and use it to threaten OP into letting me use a normal spoon again.
Spilling blood on it will summon the edgelord
The reactionary ombudsman of the techno-feudalist eldrich horrors.
OP’s lawyer here
I discussed your request with my client, and we decided to move forward with accepting it.
However, it’s up to you, yo approve this decision. Your options are (a) use spoon number 3 for the rest of your life, or (b) use a normal spoon for the rest of your life.
Keep in mind that:
- You can only use the chosen spoon, no matter what the circumstances. For example, it doesn’t matter if you forgot it at home, or you are trying to eat a steak.
- You may wash your spoon, when necessary.
- You use other tools for other jobs. Rule 1 only applies to eating.
- You may not change spoon if it breaks, or gets contaminated.
Then we have an accord. IRL, I carry a cutlery set among the various other accoutrements in my bag, so we should be good.
Sorry if rule 1 was not clear, but you can only use the spoon when eating. In the positive side of things, you will no longer have to carry an entire set.
Violence it is then:
Your request was about “a normal spoon”. The object in the picture is a spork.
My client decided that your request should be rejected, and you have to use spoon 3.
The object in the picture is a spork.
Incorrect, it’s a KnSpork. Our only proof of superior alien life on earth.
Objection, it’s not a spork (it also has a knife edge), but assuming this gets overruled, I affirm my threat to use the unholy, very clearly haunted, and quite possibly toxic, number 3 spoon to threaten OP for the right to use any normal spoon.
Why wouldn’t anyone choose 1? It’s just a bit blocky, but a spoon nonetheless.
And the question said
eat, so small spoons are available for cooking or jars when neededIt’s tarnished and might taste funny. Plus it’s got those weird ridges which would bother some of the neurospicy peeps until they learn not to suck it like a goddamn “lollipop” when they’re eating.
It’s the only thing that would even work inside a mouth. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want it, but 1 is the most spoon-shaped and endurable.
2 is the only one that doesn’t look so big it won’t fit in your mouth.
Do you hate soup?
Not OP but I reckon I could live life comfortably without one.
Yes and I’m tired of apologizing for it. Go enjoy your dirty puddle of a meal you slurper
/s
That is our word!
What’s stopping you from using it for soup?
The back of it.
Tip back the bowl! SLURP SLURP!
And the front of it.
Also the sides.
- Nice handle length and it’s small enough to fit into most containers of anything I’m likely to need a spoon for
And you can stab anyone that tries to steal your food.
2, all the other ones can go to hell holy shit i’d cry if i had to eat with them (yes, i’m neurodivergent hello)
But 2 is spiky in the back and it will stab your lips when you pull in out of your mouth.
That just gives you an excuse to practice your lip game while eating
i can live with physical pain if it saves me from mental anguish
My fingers. My. Goddamned. Fingers. Fuck you. I’d rather go through the sensory hell of shoveling chicken noodle in my gullet than use any of these textural monstrocities.
I’d definitely pick 3.
First of all, if you can only eat with one spoon, you might as well pick a cool-looking one. Imagine being at a social event and people are handing out spoons to eat soup or whatever, and you’re like “no thanks, I always eat with this spoon I brought from home”. That would be kinda cringe and weird if you pick a spoon with a boring basic design. But if you pick the third one with it’s interesting demon handle, it’s gonna make you look mysterious. People are going to wonder and ask you about the story behind the spoon. Women will giggle at you and ask if you’d share the spoon with them.
Secondly, it has the most generally useful shape. Being smaller than the others can be very useful for eating from some containers. It has corners instead of being perfectly round, which allows a bit of scraping. But because the corners are rounded, you don’t have to worry about leaving scratches or carving microplastics out of plastic containers.
