yes except we do not have sports in common
This lasts right until I learn that someone likes bugs. Then I just show them the most recent bug picture I have taken. So much less energy. So much less nerve-wracking. I want to show you my cool bug photos and I want to see your cool bug photos. We know what we’re about (we’re about sharing cool bug photos).
“ … and here I forgot an ampersand so the parameter was passed by value instead of by reference and I spent so much time …. Oh. You meant the other kind of bugs, didn’t you?”
I’m into cats, psychology and game development
do you have any bug pics on your computer
What these sounds mean, he thought, is: I am alive and so are you. And we’re all very worried that we might not be alive for much longer, so we’ll just keep talking, because that’s better than thinking.
- Truckers, Terry Pratchett
Honestly, my favorite people are the ones who love to talk and are horribly desperate to babble to potential listeners. I’m not much of a talker but I absolutely dont mind looking you in the eyes and nodding my head as you talk about your hobby or current going ons.
In bigger social groups I noticed this weird thing fellow humans tend to do where they all want a slice of being the talker/ center of attention and constantly cut off eachother or tune out current speaker waiting for them to shut up so they can start their monkey babble turn.
This behavior absolutely infuriates me and I refuse to take part in it. I would rather just be silent and let you say your piece than interrupt the flow.
As a knock on effect people subconsciously notice I’m not competing with them for talk time and am sending them constant listening signals like looking in the eye nodding head “mhm got you” stuff. This seems to really go a long way with making friendly with talkative types with minimal effort.
Hobbys or current going ons is nice, but that’s not small talk. That’s just talk. Not big talk nor small talk, more like medium talk. It’s where they tell you stuff about themselves that actually matter, but not in a revolutionary way.
Small talk is chatting about the weather or talking about that person at work.
i posit current going ons can be anywhere from small to heavy talk, depending on the weight and/or severity of the ongoings.
is making animal noises at each-other a sufficient way of small talk? asking for ourselves.
I mean… it works for animals?
This exchange reads like Archer dialogue and I’m digging it
We have the tism and many of our vocal stims is animal noises (esp cats/dogs si de we grew up with them) and we just make anima noises with our partner or just be with eachother in silence and it’s calming/welcoming :3
Cicadas do nothing but shreik unholy shrill screams until someone else of their species decides to have sex with them, so why don’t we give that a try?
Tried that. Got kicked out of the stripclub. Had to have lunch somewhere else.
Context dependent, but I’ve definitely meowed as a non-threatening greeting before
Wonderful xD
stare
sniff
bite
GREETINGS FELLOW HUMAN, I AM A NON THREATENING HUMAN, NO NEED TO AVOID BEING NEAR MY PRESENCE
Hey bud, how you doing?
“Hi, I’m very friendly, you don’t have to be afraid of me, i don’t want to harm you, we are identical!”
I will start approaching people like this.
It works great! Now I only very rarely need to tell people to go away.
If it’s to simply make noises to assert non-violent intentions, then I say we can be more than our natural urges without giving into these innate tendencies. Sincerely, an introvert.
I’m an introvert and I enjoy small talk.
Yeah the scripted back and forth is not nearly as draining to the social battery. It’s almost like when you’re sitting quietly with someone enjoying three mute presence.
Not quite there, but like farther asking along that spectrum than say a conversation where actual information or promise to act is the goal.
Calm down, brother. You must resist those biological urges. We are civilized now. 😉
I’m sorry, sister. I will do better.
Amen
I like to start of with small talk and then get into political issues and ridicule people. No idea why they don’t like it
Just remove all violent people first
As an autism, I would prefer society to function more like a Japanese train. I do not want to be bothered with small talk.
Seems a great many of you need this.
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Nope. Don’t need that.
Did you know that the reason imgur blocks the UK is that it is trying to evade a fine for selling children’s personal data?
They are a shit corporation and they already deleted old data for posters that didn’t have a paid subscription with them.
There are other image hosts.
Lemmy lets you upped directly to your instance and if gets federated.
Don’t use imgur.
Another great argument for text alternatives such as link to text-based (archived) sources: graceful failover & accessibility.
Except that wouldn’t make a difference as far as the children data protection bit is concerned. It goes WAY beyond porn and governs the handling of any data that can be tied back to a child, including IP address, online aliases, and email addresses.
And it’s not even just about selling it, but processing it and storing it at all. There’s technical necessity exemptions, like routers aren’t subject due to handling the IP address for routing, but stuff like logging the submitting IP address with an image to be able to handle abusive submitters would count. While it is a legitimate use, part of the UK law is requiring consent for doing anything with the data of someone under 13, and the current legal situation is “well, most sites probably break the law but you can trust us that we won’t go after you if you give it your best shot”.
I’m surprised more sites aren’t pulling out of the UK with a law that seems designed for selective enforcement to get rid of sites the government deems “bad” while letting the ones it deems “good” or “harmless” serve as examples that they are trying to be reasonable with the law that basically makes websites illegal because 12 year olds can use browsers and might go there without parental consent.
Also handing the ones that do check age even more information, but it’s OK because once you become an adult to do whatever with that information.
While I agree the UK law is nuts, and its citizens either need to revolt or kill all their children & stop breeding (probably for the best) to comply with their law, I’m just writing about principles for robust web content like don’t just post an image of text
- the disabled can’t read &
- that’s vulnerable to failure for any number of reasons including geoblocking due to insane laws.
Text alternatives are resilient to failure & provide richer features (usability, accessibility) than images.
Oooh, I see, you meant text alternative in the post. For some reason, my mind went to a service like imgur but it uses something to fallback to text, assumedly in part to display an alternative to an image to avoid the UK nanny laws instead of needing to back out entirely. So that’s where the whole “that won’t avoid the issue” response came from.
I think that small talk is an ever constant reminder of the pervasive nature that is ‘wanting to be happy’.
Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with wanting to be happy. There is something wrong about being willing to sacrifice anything for what you perceive is the thing (or person, or hobby, or whatever) that will bring you happiness.
I think that the reason small talk is so fucking meaningless is because we all are just seeking some measure of peace and happiness in our lives. We simply can’t tell everyone who asks that our day is going terribly, for one thing it will make us feel worse — for another it will also make everyone that has to tolerate us feel worse. So we say “Fine” or “Good” or “Tired” or “The weather has me down” or whatever other instantly acceptable and obvious answer is easiest and ends the interaction quickly.
I think if we allowed people to be more honest with themselves that things like small talk wouldn’t really exist beyond trying to fill a silent void. But sure, friendly human noises go brrr.
This post is quite profound
Damn well this was the perspective change I needed today
If I helped one person, more than worth the tiny effort!
Absolutely love it
Thanks OP
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It’s now viewable. Why TF was this regionlocked
